If you stop thinking, I will sneak into your brain: old blogs from myspace

Jul 25, 2005

just don't wanna

don't wanna speak to you no more
and the feelings are hard
no more threats no more yelling
I can't take the constant flipping back and forth
I can't be nice and I hate being mean
so what the fuck can I do?

I don't want enemies, but we can't be friends
though my wishes for peace and prosperity haven't changed
the connection must be disconnected
or nothing good will ever be resurrected
and born again is not an option anyway

it's quiet I want
and no more worries
we've got the product of our time to protect and serve
and to him we owe our actions
let those actions be of love
and not hate
because we can't yet see what we destroy

and it's not too late to build

Jul 25, 2005

jam session

last night was awesome. we had a little family jam. ben and i on guitar and uncle joe on vocals and harmonica....I recorded it, but haven't really listened to much of it yet. We did 'drive by shitting', which was really amazing. coming soon to a cd near you.

*********
so this is the paradise that Conan conquered
with his sword and store bought muscles
james earl jones is no hippy
but orgy scenes are still a favorite

Jul 24, 2005

yeah

there is no order in the universe today
no fly zone waiting to pay
there is no solace in frozen tears
or the ones that come bottled, corked, and full of fears
there is no reason for me to cry
I had my chance, so shit, goodbye
there is no order in the universe today
so get in line.....
and pay to play

Jul 22, 2005

strong words and weak coffee

Current mood:cheerful

handles better than some
but nothing keeps the fun on the run
like another wind soaked worshipper
of God under heaven

we need a doctor
another set of angelic hands
we need a windshield wiper
and a small pat on the back of the glans

a twister to blow us back to Oz
while we kneel under the trailer
it's camping time again
and time to search for the biggest club we can find

before we start the new military regime
and before the dreams
there is room for another scheme
and prayer is weaker than it seems

coming apart at the seams

Jul 20, 2005

I'm not a puppet, but...

I do have an affinity for sock puppets. I want to perform a sock puppet wedding. I am sure that I can find a couple that would like to be married in this fashion....

I've been writing lots of riffs, lately....something new is about to happen.
Saw the Neins and Thee Oh No's last night. I liked both bands....I miss the good garage rock. And Fun Bob rules, as usual.

*********
weird names for fruit
you know the ones I don't need to mention
and vegetables too
get taken for granted
seeds and stems
and colorful stool
the right combination
can make the most effusive fool drool

full of drool?

Jul 19, 2005

happy birthday

Today is my friend's birthday and I'm glad that he got to 36 before I did. We had some lunch and then we watched some ATHF. It was nice.

I am almost reluctant to post anything on here right now. I wish that things were easier for some people....but they aren't.

Jul 15, 2005

midway through

I'm about done with July.

and it's only midway through.

how about you?

Jul 14, 2005

skipped

Current mood:awake

turncoat hustle lining the walls of my self-imposed exile
a few good thoughts
a few loose teeth
turned blue skin rash without hesitation or fear
of fear
without fear
a no one is standing close enough to hear my body peeling away

**********

on a brighter note
the sun is shining, not shunning
the remote is working, not hiding
and last night was amazing

Jul 12, 2005

whoa

it's been a few days and my fingers are getting restless. great, weird weekend.
I can't really go into many details, but it was cool and it was taxing.
This weeks should be interesting. Lots of work to do....and that's a good thing.

*********
there's two things that I would try
if I had the reason why
and the most that I can say
is there's too much in the way
when the moment does arrive
and it's good to be alive
it'll be a brand new day
it'll be a brand new day

Jul 9, 2005

last night

Current mood:aggravated

Last night was an interesting evening. Frustrations built, and were building, and they found their way out in the form of a situation that I would have liked to avoid. I love playing at Jugheads, but goddamn if the place isn't completely out of control. I said things, though, that were mean and that I shouldn't have said.
I wish I could take them back....and apologies have been made to those that deserve them.
*********

fed by the voice
that snippy, mean voice
the one inside my head
the one that sucks the life out of me
the one that cringes
because of fear
frustration
jealousy
sadness
and
disapointment

Jul 8, 2005

show day

Current mood:peaceful

July 8th is a day that I've been sort of wondering about for a very long time.

or at least, the last couple of months.

I think it's going to be a fun show tonight down at the old Jugheads. Sid is having a birthday party, so I'm anticipating a drunken mess. WE shall rock, though. I hope I get to trade instruments with Lance. That would be fun for as song. Some Jehovah's Witnesses just stopped by and gave me some of their wonderful literature. They asked if I was a spiritual person. I told them, "in my way."

***********
the lord stepped down from the soapbox
long enough to refasten his saddle shoes.
it was chilling to my bones
to see my god in bobby sox
naked from the calf up
and looking so vulnerable to snake bite.
once proud and now humble
the old ways clinging to the bottom of his shoes
there was a tiny speck of life
still visible in the whiskers of his beard.
could I be so bold to ask him
what would happen to me?
are there are stars that fall
to fill my wishes? is there pain
to look forward to and will I die alone?
but all I could do is stop and stare
until he said, "you're in my way."

Jul 7, 2005

today is the day that I do that one thing

Current mood:sleepy

work is a four letter word
but I always say that I love my job
and love is also a four letter word
so I must love to work

**********

rockin' costs money

Jul 6, 2005

today has a blog

soft-shelled commentary for the new generation of hardcore slack seekers

or

mid-level yuppie truculence at the expense of the thong wearing social set

either way
the words make me happy

sleep would have been nice

Jul 5, 2005

heck

missed the fourth
because I'm a little late
whispered kiss
a twist of fate
Woke up working
cruel state
but time is ticking
and I can't wait

Jul 3, 2005

make the call

Current mood:happy

time passes quickly before the call
will she answer will it fall
the plans I mean the path to choose
and what is there for me to lose

*******

stars up in the sky
perfect night
you're in my eyes
declarations raining down
but for me there's only one true sound
only one

Jul 2, 2005

a new day

Current mood:pleased

triumph across the plains
spread eagle wild fire
drifts into a new town
covered in flames
mocking the stunned silence
with measured, intricate rage
simple, small town pleasure
like looking for uncracked eggs

my box is full
crate and all
uncracked eggs in a row
stifle a smile and bellow

huzzah

Jul 1, 2005

a new month

Current mood:calm

I hate it when the internet swallows my thoughts and will not give them back. It's not fair. Damn it.

********
I'm fire retardant and hell is imploding.

********

shellac on the wood
glue holding down the earth
paint crumbles from the sun
and the oil glides soullessly on the water
my vantage point is particular
to clouds and other cumulous predicaments
with a nod to nourishment
that cannot be found in candy

Jun 30, 2005

environmentally safe

Current mood:groggy

trained like a champion
to win, to fight, to leave a message
and still there's nothing worth saying

foreign or not, I'm not sure how to make you understand.

Why, wherefore, albeit, and thoroughfare
transmissions of the mis-fired
and misbegotten vocabularic hysteric

foreign or not, I'm not sure how to make you understand

Typing to a beat that makes you complete is a feat
a treat and a stone cold solution to the heat
that is neat that is concrete that is obsolete

foreign or not, I'm not sure how to make you understand

Jun 29, 2005

egad

Current mood:depressed

why do things that feel so good have to bring so much pain with them? I wish I didn't get it, but I actually do. The universe throws up barriers for us to get through, climb over, figure out, etc. We either get past these barriers or we don't. I'm not sure if the universe is telling me to climb or to read the writing on the wall in front of me. I don't like what the writing says...and I'm afraid of heights.

How fun is that?
**********
tremolo on
ignition engaged
first chord is hit
truly enraged
I've come to see
my first time it seems
timid and shy
from too many dreams
the moon through the clouds
my own prickly doubts
cross-stitched in time
my soul's useless shrine
damn moon in my sky
can't touch it, too high
because I could fall
and you didn't call

Jun 29, 2005

there is a question that cannot be answered

Current mood:accomplished

terrible fringe benefits
another long day off
too many rhymes
and too many times
that I had to shrug
and laugh

From which came the once and final
there is no need for a charm
the comfort that is found in a reason
can be found in the folds of my arms

Jun 28, 2005

song lyrics

Tuned down and let's go
the acrobats drumroll
mice in a big heap
degenerates back beat
where is my ego
let go of my lego
terrible mindcrime
exonerate daytime

Jun 28, 2005

and the sound of your voice alone can kick my ass

Current mood:naughty

torn into bits by small hands
disarmed to the point of shallow breaths
and tenderness
crime doesn't pay
it never did

but the sound of a voice
can shatter glass

Jun 21, 2005

the lord is an illusion

Current mood:blank

snug harbor
of moon-lit absences
fear is no friend
to lunatic eclipses

***************

I'm not afraid to feel, nor am I afraid of what I feel. What I fear is ignorance.
What I fear is pride. What I fear is inside and I'm in no position to get out of it today.

Jun 21, 2005

slightly confused on which direction that I'm looking in

Didn't realize the smile behind the stare was there
so I blinked
and in the nano-second that my soul slept
when the sun was dashed from my sky
I wondered why
I was filled with wonder

*******************

The day is getting better. I'm thankful for that. Hard work will wash away my trouble, as will the celebration of International Go Skateboarding Day. I'm going to celebrate with abandon tonight and take out my aggression on some poor concrete. Either in Tempe or Glendale....I haven't decided.

What should I do about my confusion? Why do I care? I need to remember to stick to the master plan and all will be well. Kicking the habit of "when in doubt, pout" for a more pro-active, "when in doubt, shout!" I feel like shouting at the universe, which is better than shutting it out.

Jun 21, 2005

Intuition of precognition of repetition

Current mood:drunk

twist in the wind
young dandelion
merciful sun
spectacular sun
warm on the petal
distract me
unsettled

*****************

I look at things from a certain vantage point sometimes that reminds me of sitting on the edge of the Grand Canyon. There is always that urge to just jump over the edge. It's so goddamn beautiful, you know, that you just want to be a part of it. There are times, like today, that you know the jump will not be any type of unification with beauty. "This jump is ugly," sayeth my brain....but I just can't help myself.

You have to believe that you can fly....or at least hover above the impending bruise to your soul long enough to delay the inevitable disappointment. It's going to hurt, yes, but before it does, there is a feeling of certain excitement. I used to enjoy getting into fistfights with people because of the power that is exchanged. I also like the feeling of being hit and not caring what it felt like at the exact moment of impact. Feeding off the pain to inflict more pain. Ignoring the damage while destroying the act of creation it yearns for. Yeah. That feeling. I used to like it. Now I just absorb it. Thud. Umph. Ow.

A day starts one way, ends another. Just can't help but think that the way this day started, it'll end another way.

Jun 17, 2005

too early to tell

Current mood:bouncy

I need to mention that I really like the film, "Cool Hand Luke," which stars Paul Newman.

I don't know for sure why this was so important to post, but it is.

Happy Friday to you....

Jun 12, 2005

Early Sunday morning

Current mood:cold

What an interesting evening I had seeing faces that I had not seen in a very long time. On a good note, actually, everyone was just how I remember them to be. The nice ones were still nice and the bitchy ones have gotten better at hiding their true nature. If you are reading this and have to wonder if you are a "bitchy" one, then you probably are....but I still like ya.

I'm tired of playing games. That's what I feel here on Sunday morning. I got some interesting voice mails this morning and I'm tired of it. I don't know what or who to believe and I really don't care. My source has a pretty good track record for telling the truth, but how much more to the truth is there? I wonder. Either way, it just makes me sad.

So....on a better note, the note I want to focus on, the note I want to play, the house is coming along so well and I love it. I love living by myself and only having to worry about myself, my dog, and my cat. The tile is almost done, the paint looks killer, and I've got new locks for the liquor cabinet. Can't wait to show it off...

there will be a party.

Finish it now
and leave me be
like the last
the first
and the ones in the middle

Finish it now
and give me peace
so that I may return
to the scene
of a different crime

Jun 6, 2005

trainspotting

Current mood:thirsty

so
I wish I was from Scotland
sometimes and I was as cool
as Irvine Welsh
so I could say whatever I want
and get paid
to quarrel
with my reader.

what a weekend. Great show on Saturday. I was beat.

single coil
over smooth vibrato
munching crunching
simple rhythm
the song's alive

Jun 3, 2005

illadvised

Current mood:chipper

(Delete)
(Delete thought)

...

unnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn

May 27, 2005

head hurts

Current mood:quixotic

and there I was again
listening to the sound of the air conditioning
it cools me off
but what do I do for it

and there I am again
breathing
what more could I do
than that

and here I go one more time
with sudden apprehension
for nodding and winking
because I can

and
and and
and and and
and and and and
the end

May 26, 2005

upon the ordering of pizza

Current mood:bouncy

archers of loaf never sounded so good....

the thing is, see
that no matter what I'm afraid of
the things in the dark
don't seem to be
as scary
as when they are looking you right in the eye

a hole in the sky
would be less frightening
than the whole universe
ganging up
and coming down
when there is none, no one
looking you right in the eye

May 26, 2005

noodle fish

Current mood:chipper

trang trang blomp sklog
a mere ball of resin and I'm floating
slipping
standing
making pee
and laughing
they came in and said

WHAT IS THIS NOiSE?

and I laughed more than ever.

May 25, 2005

old thoughts becoming new

Current mood:anxious

I bend sentences in your shadow
turning my thoughts into shameless invasions
thorny branches of my memory tree
spread out over me, protect me

May 15, 2005

here we go...

Current mood:chipper

More work on the house. It's getting close and I get to move next Saturday. I can't wait. We (hillbilly) played with a couple of very cool bands on Thursday night at Jugheads. Roman Gabriel Todd is amazing...but his drummer, Benny, is even better. I also had a blast seeing some old friends. It was a nice surprise to see my old buddy Brett playing guitar for A Feast Unknown. Local phx types should check them out. I've also been inspired to write more...... programming is on.

May 5, 2005

050505

Current mood:excited

well. I've been working a lot. Not so much on my house, which is an on-going project, but in schools. This week, I was lucky enough to not have to work on Monday and Tuesday, which allowed me to meet some friends from out of town for a few skate sessions. We hit the Peoria, Glendale, and Tempe skateparks. I love the pool at Peoria, the roll-in bowl at Glendale, and the flow bowl in Tempe. So much fun. The last couple of days, though, I've been working with some very cool students at a central PHx high school. I have one more day with them... Tomorrow night, PTWKAF ventures to Tucson. It's our first show out of town, so we're pretty excited. We want to play the westcoast before the year is done, but you have to start somewhere. Getting ready to tile the new place, so that's kind of exciting as well.

Apr 29, 2005

there was

Current mood:anxious

NoMeansNo. There, I said it. I said it twice today. Or 150 times. I'm stoked. We get to open for NoMeansNo today. This is up there for me in terms of bands that I completely respect and love. Definitely top five for Hillbilly. more later

Apr 29, 2005

and then

Current mood:ecstatic

we used to believe that there were monsters we used to believe that the earth was flat we used to have no concept of anyplace we couldn't walk to we used to have more worries than if there was a god and what happens when you die because we didn't know now we have access to everywhere now we know who the monsters really are now we tell our tales on moving screens now we worry because when you know you may forget how to believe

Apr 14, 2005

another day of domesticity

I'm putting it off again. The weeks have gone by and the project continues. It's 8:54 am and I'm destined to return to my new house with paint roller in hand and go at the walls again. I'm beginning to wonder if I'm truly a house painter at heart and just fooling myself with the idea that I can actually help children with their relationship problems. I'm just bullshitting, which I'm certain, is the main reason why most of us post a blog. I like doing the work on my new house and I can't wait to move in because it is going to look amazing. I'm just way more motivated to go skate the Tempe skate park this morning than go paint. I went yesterday, too, before work and it just wasn't enough. This weekend we (NSK) have two shows. I'm not looking forward to the Saturday night show at the Mardi Gras nearly as much as the Sunday show at the Owl's Nest (tempe) for the New Times Music Showcase. It's so fun to get up there and play hardcore music for unsuspecting folks. The people that come out on Saturday will pretty much know what they are in for, but Sunday, there's always possibilities.....

Mar 27, 2005

domesticated mechanical pondering

I typically loathe doing any type of project that includes me grabbing a tool and building/fixing/destroying something. Having said that, with the day quickly coming up that I'm going to be able to move into my new home, I worked my ass off this weekend and I enjoyed it very much. My Step-daddy and I put insulation into the attic of my new house and into the house that he and my mother share. It's a dirty job, but now that it's over, I'm feeling pretty chuffed about it. Next up, we wash the walls, get out the tape, and start to paint. This should be about a two week job, I'm guessing, since we're all busy and such. After the painting is done, we get to put in the new tile....and then I can move in. What else has been going on. Played a show at Jugheads on Friday night with my band, Hillbilly Devilspeak. It was with the Hates, who are a bunch of incredibly cool fellas from Texas. I got a nice hug from Richie, the drummer, sometime before he started performing magic tricks...he figured out how to make the alcohol he had been consuming reappear. I didn't perform any magic tricks...instead, I chose to rock the fuck out and show everybody how it's supposed to be done. Special thanks goes to promoter extraordinaire, Rhondi D. She rules. Time for a nap..... big show on Friday...April 1....PTWKAF is going to demolish the Emerald Lounge.

Mar 10, 2005

today

Current mood:artistic

So I'm sitting here on a day that is so beautiful that it makes me want to have second thoughts about nothing. The sky is blue, there are a few lazy clouds and the biggest decision that I have to make today is to either go skateboarding now or wait a bit longer and make my son go with me. He's not really that sure of himself on a skateboard yet, but I want him to get used to it. I'm no Tony Hawk myself, but I do feel comfortable enough to go up to the local skatepark and do my thing. I am also ready to go to band practice. It's been awhile since I picked up my bass. I usually don't go more than a day or so without touching it, but hillbilly practice got cancelled this week and we didn't do a Pinky practice last weekend because of the bachelor party. I don't typically like titty bars. I think they are offensive to people in general, but I do respect the rights of others to go to them or work in them. The bachelor party took us to three different ones, I think, maybe four. I can't really remember too well what happened after a certain point. That's probably a good thing. I did see some bodies that made me smile, but I didn't assert myself in any fashion that could get me in trouble. I guess maybe I'm a tad hypocritical about the titty bar thing. I do like to look at the ladies....but I tend to think the whole situation is sad....and I've never met a girl in a titty bar that ever gave me the time of day.

Feb 14, 2005

valentine

so it have been over three months since my last confession. I am worn out. It has been a rough month. I move on Saturday and I'm stoked to move, but I also have a lot work to do in order to get my new house ready to live in. My bands are all doing pretty well, which is scary since the better we do, the busier I will be. PTWKAF had an awesome cd release party last Saturday. I have several shows coming up with each of my different projects, so I will be able to release some serious tension. Hooray for endorphins.

Oct 10, 2004

something of the last two weeks

Current mood:anxious

This was an interesting weekend. I went camping and I'm not really much of a camper. Actually, I have camped twice in the last month and I doubt I camped twice over the previous 15 years before that. We went to Mogollon Rim, which is in Arizona...about 2 hours from where I live in Phoenix. I have driven too much over the last two weeks. From Oct. 1 to Oct. 3, I was back and forth between Anaheim, Tempe, and Hollywood for some shows with my band. That was a screwed up tour schedule.

Thursday, December 30, 2010

old blogs from myspace

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